


I Never Read the Package Anyway

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Autistic Dave Strider, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, F/F, High School, Hispanic Karkat, Homophobia, M/M, Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider are Twins, Slow Burn, Trans Karkat Vantas, Trans Rose Lalonde, Transphobia, for bro, from kankri and mom, in for the long haul, kankri is a really really bad guy, kankri is extremely emotionally and verbally abuse, karkat has some sort of panic disorder, like very slow, religious trauma, specific triggers for each chapter in notes, takes place mostly during the summer though, theyre juniors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In a suburban neighborhood in Houston two boys bond over having shitty brothers, a girl gets the grasp of the girl thing, and two girls fall in love over algebra
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	I Never Read the Package Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> TW: transphobia, child abuse, panic attack and religious guilt

**=== > be karkat**

It is just so very wonderful waking up every morning to this exact thing, being of course either your father getting up at the buttfuck crack of dawn or your loser brother puking his guts out in the bathroom that is, of course directly next to your room. A measly piece of drywall between your headboard and the toilet. Absolutely the best experience and definitely the definition of a godly gentleman. Thats Kankri, godly as fuck. Where did he even get that shit from? Your dad isn't… the most accepting but he lets you cut your hair and doesn't yell at you. He calls you Karkat too, even if he doesn't use the correct pronouns you don't have enough energy to continue correcting him every time. He says he's trying though and that's the most you can ask of him. 

Gross. This morning it appears to be both of those aforementioned things. Dads clanging around with the coffee downstairs is frustrating and kankris bile hitting the toilet is fucking infuriating. Well, you're awake now. You resign to the fact that you are not going back to sleep and you should just get up. Your phone says it's 6 am, which you guess means wake up time. You slip out of your warm bed just so you don't have to listen to Kankri dry heave until hes on the verge of a fucking aneurysm. Seriously, maybe one day he’ll actually pop a blood vessel and learn his damn lesson. 

But probably not. You just go downstairs to make yourself breakfast. Dad is just walking out of the door when you get to the bottom of the stairs. 

“Karkat?” He calls out. 

“Yes, what is it?” Fuck if he tells you to take care of- 

“Take care of your brother” of fucking course thats what he says. 

“Fuck that guy.” Is your response and he doesn't continue the conversation, opting to leave it at that. You would rather lick a public restroom wall, you know the restrooms with no doors on the stall and the floors always wet and you're not sure if it's piss or not? One of those. You'd rather lick the wall of one of those than nurse your brothers hangover for him. If he would just MOVE OUT like the adult he is, you wouldn't have to give a damn about the guy anymore. Wishful thinking. Kankris the biggest incel you've ever had the chance of knowing. He is never going to get married or have kids or probably ever kiss anyone ever. He's disgustingly sexist, one thing you don't think he will ever grow out of. He preaches quite liberally about how women should not parade themselves about in skimpy clothing but you're sure he watches porn. Like come on you're not even a girl, or into girls why does he feel the need to lecture you on the importance of the female image? He also is very adamant that homosexuality is a sin, really kankri? Its not the fucking 40s, people are allowed to be gay. He is sincerely the shittiest type of human being and you have the privilege of calling him brother. 

You're preparing yourself a nice bowl of plain oatmeal when Kankri decides the saunter downstairs with an empty bottle of vodka. Where he gets that shit you'll never know. Even looking at the glass makes you almost lose your appetite. 

“Karkat,” he whispered, not that he's normally quiet, the loud would just hurt his poor little head. Pussy. “You really should see about getting some more sleep, you look worse for wear.” okay honestly, super fuck that guy. You might be able to sleep if he didn't insist on crying himself to sleep every night like a fucking baby. This shit has been an everyday occurance from that disappointing excuse of a brother for your entire life. So you cant even be mad at it, not outwardly at least. Your dads never around to see it either, you think that Kankri does that deliberately. Only targets you when you two are alone. Kankri is a well loved, if not a bit adored, godly man anytime anyone is around but far too often it is just you and him. He finds a way under your skin. “Oh and don’t wear that… thing too long today. I heard it's bad to wear it for too long.” And this is where he gets you. He pretends to care so he can give you some backhanded moral obligation to be nice to him. It doesn't really work anymore, you're nearly 17 and you've seen enough of his shit and been to enough therapy that you can pretty well take care of yourself through this shit. Your therapist is your dad's friend though which basically means every other word out of his mouth is god or holy. 

Which usually means you just say something along the lines of, “Fuck off, Kankri.” which is what you've chosen for today. 

“Karkat, we go over this everyday, you shouldn't speak to me in such a manner, I am your older brother. You should respect me.” You tune him out after that, this is a daily occurance you already know what he's going to say so there's no point in listening. He's going to say the same shit about respect and family upbringing and maybe he’ll throw a little something in about how even now you’ll always be his baby sister. He does it today, makes a comment about how you should wear more color or people will start thinking you're a lesbian. Its so fucking infuriating because he makes these comments but usues your name and pronouns just fucking fine. Probably because dad forces him. 

You go upstairs with your oatmeal. 

**=== > Be Dave **

You wake up pretty early on this particular day and consider pestering June or Rose but decide against it when you realize it's even earlier than you thought, 4 am. You'll talk to them later. You spend a couple minutes staring at the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling and snapping your fingers to an imaginary beat. Your thoughts are cut off when you hear a hand slap softly against your door from the hallway, the sound immediately causes a panic to rise in your chest, it tightens and it feels like your ribs might just implode on themselves and pop your lungs and-

Now's not the time for a panic attack, bro just wants to strife, it'll be fine. Maybe you'll get a cool new scar. Yeah, cool. Even if it's a little early and you're tired but you suppose doing it early will get it over with for the day and at best you'll get to hang out with your friends and at worst you'll just be forced into your room and you'll go back to sleep until school on monday. After the panic has mostly settled you rise from your bed. Your bed is warm and you feel a bit of yearning as you leave. When you exit your room and make you to the roof to have some structured fighting the panic arises again, and your breathing gets caught in your throat and suddenly the wind in your ears and the humidity and god everything is so much. 

You make it out of the strife with nothing worse than a few bruises and a sore jaw. That means you'll probably get to slip away to hang out with your friends today. Maybe June could talk Karkat into tagging along too. Her and Karkat had an unspoken bond since she had come out, that was their thing, Dave didn't budge in. especially being the token cishet of their friend group. He will probably always be called a cissie by Roxy but whatever it's kind of funny. Its 630am by the time he patches himself up, so he decides to see who was online recently. The only person with the green dot next to their name was Karkat. “Interesting…” you mumble, to yourself. When you've clicked on karkats name to pester him you hear the front door open and close, meaning bro is leaving. You throw your laptop to your side to run to your window that faces the inside of the courtyard. Your bro is almost to the gate by the time you peel the curtains from your window. He's carrying a duffle bag which means he's gone for the next few days. You wait for 3 minutes staring out the window after he closes the gate behind him before you dare step away and let yourself take a shaky breath. 

What were you even doing before this? 

Oh right, you were about to pester karkat to see what he's up to. Karkat is cool enough, you guys never really bonded much. Hes a bit bristly though. 

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: karkat 

TG: karkat answer 

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT 

CG: CAN A MAN NOT EAT HIS LUKEWARM OATMEAL IN PEACE 

CG: I AM REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD TO BE CEASELESSLY BOTHERED BY YOU FOR MY THE REST OF MY ALREADY SHIT FILLED MORNING 

TG: that was uncalled for sir 

TG: i absolutely did not deserve you getting pre angry at me for something i have not done 

TG: im sort of dissapointed in you 

CG: *DISAPPOINTED 

CG: I THINK IT WOULD HELP YOU A LITTLE BIT TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL

TG: hey im proud of my third grade reading level

CG: SERIOUSLY HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET INTO COLLEGE 

TG: could not tell you 

TG: but they're letting me go and im gonna get that degree so hard 

CG: WHERE ARE EVEN PLANNING ON GOING 

TG: university of washington 

TG: it has the best archaeology field in the state 

CG: THATS WHAT YOU PLAN ON DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? LOOKING AT DEAD THINGS 

TG: yeah and rocks

TG: like how rocks formed so we can figure out cool shit that happened in the past

TG: we can figure out through carbon dating when a kick ass velociraptor died 

CG: WHY IS IT KICK ASS 

TG: shut up im talking 

CG: OKAY 

TG: and when she had he last meal and what she had like its sick as fuck 

TG: we can also figure out how she died 

TG: i think its super cool 

===> be karkat 

Are you freaking out? Yes. why? Because the guy you have barely even spoken to outside of hanging out with June will not stop going on about his weird bone hobby, and you're starting to think it's kind of cute. No, it's not cute. It's endearing at best. Nothing more than that. 

Oh… now he's sending you pictures. You click on the link that comes up. It's a jar with something murky inside of it, looks gross. You ask him if it's his jazz jar which he responds saying that it's actually a baby seal in formaldehyde. Then there are pictures of squirrel bones he found in the park, and his baby teeth. 

Shit this kid gets comfortable fast. Then he sends you this pentagram earring he stole from Rose last time he visited her and their mom and it makes bile rise in your throat.at first you think its kind of a pretty earring and you've seen rose wear it before but then you remember last time kankri had found out about roses witchy accessories and how bad that went. Which causes you to steep within your own panic. You feel watched. Now, you wouldn't peg yourself as a religious person, sure you go to church but all good pastors sons do. The real fear comes from what kankri might say if he knew. It makes your skin crawl and you suddenly feel very trapped within this room and suddenly you need to leave. Your cross necklace seems to burn through your shirt ever present so you make the executive decision to take it off along with your shirt when you rip that off. Your hands tremble, over a stupid fucking earring that dave sent you a picture of. Fucking dumb stupid bitch. You hear Kankri's feet pad across the hall as you're finding clothes to put on. Why do you feel like everythings watching you. Like your entire nervous breakdown is being broadcast to the world. You think you might be crying but you find it hard to pay attention to such things which really you're just trying so fucking hard to throw clothes on so you can get out of that god damn door before kankri-

Window. Leave through the window. Leave now. You pull on the first pair of shoes you find so that you can get. Out. you open the window and quickly survey the safest way down to the ground. The roof juts down at a certain point and you've come to the conclusion that it must be the safest way down, just get to the lowest part of the roof and jump down, simple. Bad call. Your ankle is either broken or halfway there. 

You swallow any noises that rise up. Junes, that's where you need to go right now. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing ive written in years!!!


End file.
